Pathetic fallacy

I've been feeling a bit weird for the past few days and struggling to figure out why.

My conclusion is that I think I just feel unsettled; I'm so excited to go home that I'm finding it hard to make the most of my last couple of weeks in Italy before Christmas.

I finally had a couple more lessons today, but because everything has been so slow starting my motivation has disappeared. I mean, the main reason I came was to do jazz singing, yet I apparently won't even have a teacher until next January or February, and no one knows who she is or when she will arrive. So why would I be raring to go, when I have nowhere to raring-ly go to?

Anyway, as I was early for my lessons I just perched on a bench for a bit as the sun was starting to reappear after a downpour. The weather was really weird, just like my mood. There were lots of different types of clouds moving or forming or being all misty and unpredictable. Essentially like the things in my life at the moment.

Having no routine, structure or familiarity is proving a bit odd; I don't feel I can call Perugia 'home' yet but I also know I can't be (and wouldn't want to be) at home in England all year. Italy and I are past the honeymoon phase but we haven't quite reached that comfortable stage. You know, the one where you're happy to sit and relax with no makeup on and your hair dragged back.

I suppose only when I feel more comfortable with the place, the people and the language I will keep feeling 'up in the air', if you will (apologies for a terrible pun). And that probably just takes time and persistence, the first of which I definitely have enough of.