Thoughts on 'failure'

On my Twitter feed, I just saw someone post the quote: 'It's better to try something and fail, than to not try at all'.

I don't know why, because I haven't finished my year yet, and I haven't 'failed' anything, but it immediately made me think of my year abroad.

Although a lot of the time I'm proud of myself for moving away, adapting to a new culture, learning another language and being in a long distance relationship, it's easy to feel like a failure when you're surrounded by so many other foreign students absolutely thriving and making countless friends and doing countless things and going to countless places, while you're just bumbling along, unsure of what to do.

But surely, achievements should always be personal, rather than in comparison to other people?

I am 6 out of 8 months through my year now, so I want to look back on the personal goals I had in November, and see if I've 'succeeded' or 'failed'.

 1.       Get ok/good at jazz singing. That’s genuinely the main reason why I’m here (thanks Newcastle Uni) so I’d feel bad to put it anywhere other than first.

2.       Learn some Italian. Emphasis on ‘some’.

3.       Eat loads of pizza. I could say that this is complete already but I know there is oh so much more to be had.

4.       Have some nice times with some nice people.

5.       Have people to come visit (Tom, Mum, Dad, Sarah, Emily, Grace, Monica, Rona, all Newcastle flatmates, I’m looking at you)

6.       Experience the chilled way of Italian life. Currently perfecting this one having done the grand total of nothing for the past couple of days.

7.       See more of Italy. Rome, Pisa, Venice, Bologna maybe, and some places down south would be nice.

1. I feel like my singing, or at least just my confidence, has improved. I have learnt so many new songs, improvised a lot and it's been so good to have the time just concentrating on my voice, rather than always with the piano.

2. I've learned quite a bit of Italian.

3. I've eaten so much pizza. I can't even explain.

4. I've had some lovely times with lovely people.

5. Tom has come to visit 3 times (! can we take a moment to appreciate this man), Mum Dad and Sarah came in February and the parents are coming back in a couple of weeks, I went to London to see Emily, Monica has visited, and flatmate Hannah is visiting next week!

6. I am so chilled.

7. I have only visited a few tiny places outside of Perugia, but plans are in action to visit more in July with Monica!

So really, I haven't 'failed' anything. I haven't made many friends, but that's ok. This year is a personal achievement for me, and I'm enjoying sharing it with people from home by having them visit. And to be honest, I'm still in the same mindset as I was a few months ago: enjoying Italy but looking forward to being home and normality and being back with my friends and boyfriend.

The past month has been quite busy, as will be the upcoming one, and I'm excited to just keep doing what I'm doing, and to start enjoying the sun! I even have an exam tomorrow, hold your horses.

I am still taking a picture every day, so to see what April has involved, see my instagram: https://instagram.com/shonamairicrossan/